New Foobs, Who Dis?

A few weeks back I had the *hopefully* last of my surgeries – the completion of my reconstruction – getting my fake boobs (foobs) installed. After spending a LOT of time with my plastic surgeon deciding on shape, size and placement, and giving my body enough time to heal after my prior surgeries, we were ready to get rid of the temporary expanders, and put in “permanent” silicone gel implants. (I say “permanent” because implants last 10-15 years before they need to be replaced, so these should last me to 2032 or so). The process of aligning on the shape, size and placement for implants is a difficult one. Plastic Surgery is inherently an imprecise science (bodies are weird and different and unpredictable) and the plastic surgeon has an opinion on what they think will look best. But, at the end of the day, its your body, and what you want might be different than what the Plastic Surgeon thinks will look best. Long story short, it took multiple conversations for me and my plastic surgeon to get close to the same page, and heading into surgery I would say we were close but not fully aligned (ugh … lesson learned, advocating for yourself is hard, and everyone’s learning and communication styles are different. Also, there has to be some technology/AI/VR solution that would make this process easier.) For those in the know and/or curious to where we landed – I now have Natrelle Inspira Smooth Cohesive Full Profile Silicone Gel implants, 605cc.

All in, the surgery is pretty simple. A couple of hours in the OR and you go home the same day. The surgeon uses the existing incision lines, so there are no new scars and there are no drains – which makes for a much simpler/easier recovery. On surgery day I was 36 hours into what was either a cold or seasonal allergies (or both). I was terrified that the anesthesiologist wouldn’t let me do surgery with what could be a head/chest cold. Everything I read online said that they might delay surgery 6 weeks if you have a cold on surgery day. Fortunately, I got the all clear for surgery, and after getting marked up with a sharpie by my plastic surgeon, I was ready for a medically induced nap and to be rid of the expanders.

The anesthesiologist gave me a little bit of steroids to help with the cold/allergy symptoms, which made for a return of “roid-rage” Ari post-surgery – if you remember, during chemo I was chock full of steroids which made for a bubblier version of myself that we jokingly referred to as “roid-rage” because once the steroids wore off I became really sad/angry/depressed for a few hours. Medicine is weird. In this case, the steroids meant I had loads of energy post-surgery and once they started to wear off,  I smartly chose to take a nap to avoid the steroid let-down.

One of the things most people don’t realize about exchange surgery (myself included) is that it usually involves some liposuction. I think people don’t talk about it because it sounds vain – but it’s a key part to the surgery. In my case, the amount of tissue removed during my mastectomy was uneven – they took WAY more tissue from my cancerous side than my non-cancerous side (presumedly to be extra safe on the cancer side). As a result, I had REALLY lopsided looking side-boob/armpit fat. So, the plastic surgeon worked to even this out during the exchange surgery. Also, in order to make the implants look more natural, the plastic surgeon relocated some fat from my upper stomach to the top edge of the implants to smooth the transition between implant and upper chest area. The Plastic Surgeon took from the upper stomach because there is a small chance that radiation will mess up the implant on my right side and then my only reconstruction option will be fat-grafting, so she saved the fat in my lower tummy just in case, oy! Without a doubt, the most painful part of the recovery is the spots that had lipo (who knew?!). In addition to some massive armpit bruising, the areas that had lipo were VERY tender (and 12 days post-surgery, are still fairly tender).

While exchange surgery recovery generally doesn’t include surgical drains (yay!) there are a number of accouterment that are part of surgery recovery. In my case, there are pads and special bras/undershirts that I need to wear to help ensure everything settles the way we want it to, plus a waist binder that squeezes the liposuction spot on my stomach. These accessories make it a little harder to move around, and mean loose clothing is key so that you can hide the weird lumps and bumps from all the pads/extra layers. Plus some spots are swollen and some spots are not – it will take a few weeks still for everything to look “normal.”

Unfortunately, my new foobs don’t feel like they’re “mine” quite yet, in part since they’re hiding beneath layers of foam and fabric and when the do see the light of day, they’re sporting garish purple/yellow tie-dye bruises

Fortunately, I’m all done with surgeries for the foreseeable future and will be returning to work next week (once I get rid of all the extra layer of recovery equipment)